As parents, we want our children to be happy and healthy. We want our kids to have a good life and maybe a better one than we did. Unfortunately, even with good intentions we can sometimes end up spoiling our child. If that happens, as long as you recognize it, there are ways you can “unspoil” your child.
First you want to identify any patterns. Do you give in when your child whines for a new toy? Or maybe you give a treat to keep them quiet or behaving. Make some rules, or if you have rules, you must stick to them. If you whine for dessert during dinner? Guess what, no dessert all week!
If you tell your kids they can’t have something, don’t let it turn into twenty questions. The child may ask “Why not?”, but you are not obligated to give them any answer. You are the parent, so stop explaining yourself. Your kids will start learning to accept your decisions.
Your child may also throw the “everyone else has one/is doing it” line. Make sure you do listen to your child, since he/she may be just trying to fit in. If it is something you can’t afford, it may be a good time to discuss money and budgets. If it something that seems reasonable, come up with a way for the child to get it in the future. Think about having them put on their birthday or holiday wish list, or doing chores to earn some extra cash so they can help pay for it.
MORAL OF THE STORY: In today’s world everybody expects to get things right away, and with little effort. You will be doing your child a big service by making them wait, or earning things. If you start doing this after allowing other behavior, there may be some tantrums or meltdowns, but things will get better. Your children will thank you someday, especially when they have kids of their own!
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