Talking about Abstinence and Pregnancy with Your Teenager: Making It Less Awkward

Talking about Abstinence and Pregnancy with Your Teenager

Start out your conversation with this meme…because Ryan Gosling helps ease into a conversation a tad easier.


One of the hardest talks that parents need to have with their teenager is the one about sex and abstinence. It really isn’t something that is hard to talk about but it is really more awkward than anything else. Here is how you can talk about abstinence and pregnancy with your teenager. Um, awkward!

Here are some helpful tips for getting the information to your teen without feeling too awkward:


Choose the right time to talk– You want to find the right time to sit down and talk with your teen. A time when neither of you are in a hurry to get somewhere or distracted by other things. Sit down at the kitchen table, without any computers or tablets or cell phones. Start the conversation on the topic of abstinence, what it is exactly and how it is possible to have a relationship without engaging in sex.

Cover the topics of pregnancy and STD’s
– The topics of pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases are a vital part of this talk with your teen. Talk to them about how unprotected sex can lead to teen pregnancy. Also, discuss the various sexually transmitted diseases that unprotected sex can develop, including Herpes, HIV and Hepatitis.


The good news for my teens is that they go over this topic heavily in the 8th grade health class, so the birds and the bees conversation with your child doesn’t have to be soooo in depth and uncomfortable.

Cover the topic of birth control- It is important that you discuss birth control options with your teenager. They need to be aware that while birth control is designed to prevent pregnancy, most options don’t protect them against STD’s. Also, birth control options do not protect against pregnancy 100% either.

Perhaps end with a light-hearted quote??? “Don’t make me a grandma yet, kid!”

Provide complete and accurate facts- There are several websites that are not only reliable but also provide you with facts and statistics on teenage sex, abstinence and pregnancy. These sites in the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology, Planned Parenthood, The National Campaign and Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. It is important that when you are talking to your teens about a sensitive and crucial subject such as abstinence, you have honest and reliable facts and statistics to back-up your statements.

How did or will you approach “the talk”?

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  1. I remember it was awkward when I did “the talk” with my children. It was easier on my sons, but with my daughter, it was a little different. I am fortunate that my children were responsible and mature enough and did not give me any problems.

  2. Ive had the talk with my almost 13 year old a few times. He is also planning to come to my birth this summer which I hope helps for a few more years yet (he has stated he will stay by my head and if needed he will step out lol) but he will be there to see what i feel will be enough haha!

  3. I am so thankful that I have all boys and their dad will be having the hard talks with them. Phew…dodged a bullet.

  4. I have not had the talk with my kiddos yet, they are still too young to funny understand it. Ill keep these tips in mind though bc I am not looking forward to it when the time comes

  5. I had boys only but I still had “the talk” with them. These are really good tips and suggestions. My sister and I laugh to this day about how my mother handled the whole thing. We were born in the 50s and came of age in the 60s and were Catholic. So it was very tough for my mother. She had us listen to a record that the church put out. Our stereo was in our basement and the two of us sat down there and laughed and giggled the whole time. Of course we knew everything and so much more than what was on that record and the whole thing was pretty comical to us.

  6. Having no kids I did not have to go through this! I don’t remember getting the talk either–but back then none of us did. We were told not to let boys touch us and we did learn about some of it in school. I think we learned from other girls who learned from ?. The prevalence of teenage pregnancy back then was not as great as now and most times the pregnant girls were either shunned or sent off to parts unknown. Sexually transmitted diseases were not talked about-ever! Actually they probably didn’t know as much about them back then.

  7. We have always had a very open relationship with the kids. It is so important for them to feel like they can come to you to talk about everything.

    1. I think that is a good thing too. Open communication with the children break down some barriers and make them approach you with their questions without being shy or intimidated. Better to learn these things at home than from their peers.

  8. Ahhhh I’m honestly dreading the day when I have to have “the talk” with my daughter. Thankfully I have many years to prepare myself lol… This is definitely some
    Great advice:)

  9. My mom always had really great open communication with me so I was always upfront and honest with her. Always a good way to go.

  10. I think this is such a sensitive topic to deal with & I agree it is important to handle it without feeling too awkward. These are some simple but straight forward tips to take note which will help many!

  11. These are the tough conversations I am dreading, but my oldest is 11 soon to be 12, so I now that I really need to sit him down SOON.

  12. My daughter brought it up in fourth grade. We told her some, and then told her there were other parts that she wasn’t old enough to hear yet, but when she was, we’d let her know. We approached her in the eighth grade saying remember when…. she said yes, and we told her the rest. She said, I don’t think I’m old enough to hear this yet! So cute.

  13. I had this talk with my own daughter and just laid it out there for her. My husband is going to take over the boys and now I’m only left with my 4yr old who has a long way to go before we have this chat. 🙂

  14. I am dreading do this talk only because I don’t want to mess it up. I hope I can be open and honest with my kids…way more than my parents were with me. This is such an important topic.

  15. I think it is important to get over the awkward feelings and be honest with teens. I’d rather my kids get the real facts (before becoming a teen) from me rather than an inexperienced friend.

  16. I remember when my parents and I had ‘the talk’. So awkward. It’s still important to have regardless. It makes it easier when the parents make it funny and are also relaxed at the time.

  17. I know “the talk” is coming with my boys and I’m not looking forward with it. Fortunately, their Dad will handle most of it and I have years before my 3-year old daughter will be having it.

  18. Such a tough conversation, but so important. I only have a toddler, but I know I’ll need this advice for when the time is right. Parents have to be proactive about these topics!

  19. My kids are still really little – we have been discussing safe touch a lot lately though. I am trying to gain tips for the next several years though!

  20. The trick is not to make it a sit down thing. As you go along talk about it naturally….I injected it when we are watching tv or just driving. That way they get the information without them even knowing it. When the topic is spoken about all the time in the home they begin to see where you stand and why it is important

  21. I know it’s probably going to be so awkward to talk about with my boys but I’m just going to be honest about the whole thing. I’m not sure yet when the right age to talk about it is for me.

  22. Oh gosh, I remember being SO embarrassed and uncomfortable when my parents had the talk with me. I have no idea how we’ll talk to our son when he gets older (he’s one now, so we have plenty of time!). You’ve given me some good ideas though!

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